Thoughts I have while swimming laps:
1. Remember when I used to be afraid that there was a Great White shark in the pool and that one day it would emerge from the shadowy corner where it’s been lurking for the past two decades and get me?
2. But that can’t happen. Right? Right?
3. “Hey Ho” is playing. I will now hold the kickboard so I can keep my head above water and listen.
4. How many times has my mom lapped me now? Five? Does the lifeguard know she’s a triathlete? Maybe I should tell him so he won’t judge me so harshly for my comparative slowness.
5. I should probably get a serious swimsuit. The red with blue polka dots was funny the first day, but now I think people half expect me to head for the kiddie pool instead of the deep end.
6. My word I’m tired. My word I’m going to grip the side and rest while pretending to watch the clock as if I’m taking a scheduled rest. But really I’m going to rest until I stop panting like a winded rhino.
7. My word I thought I was in shape. Why is this so hard?
8. I think I’ll have some chocolate when I get home.
9. A small piece of dark, though, because that’s Dr. Oz approved.
10. When did Dr. Oz start running my life? Oh, when he said that the lotion I was already using was the best kind of lotion. That was when I decided we must be on the same wavelength.
11. Maybe two pieces of dark chocolate.
12. I wish I could do a flip turn. The polka dots must be holding me back.