What’s Going On

Last night I had a dream that …

Don’t you hate it when people begin a sentence like that? 

Last night I had a dream that children all over the world were waking up with hooks embedding in the roofs of their mouths.  Not fish hooks, exactly; more like shower curtain hooks.  I was working with a team of archaeologists in a giant bounce house (the obvious alternative to a lab) to solve the mystery: were the hooks hidden in boxes of Kraft Mac & Cheese?  Growing out of their mouths mutation-style?  Was really, really bad parenting to blame?  We never found the answer, mostly because I kept falling over in the damn* bounce house.

My dream, I strongly suspect, was fueled by the extreme exhaustion that accompanies a bout of the stomach flu.  Without being too graphic, let’s just say that yesterday was a lot like Jurassic Park, minus the nice Brachiosaurus bit.

In between…Velociraptor attacks…yesterday consisted of Ritz crackers and water; several episodes of Sherlock; a few halfhearted attempts to read; and a call from my sister, who let me rant about how The Bachelor is everything wrong with the world, and didn’t even ask why I watch it if it bothers me so much (because I will not be blind to the crumbling of society!).

Stay safe, friends.

Photo source: http://jurassicpark.wikia.com/wiki/The_Big_One

*Sorry, Mom.

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