Circa 2012


I’ve rediscovered the following document hidden in the bowels of what I call my “Business Related Random” folder.

My Goals/Plans/Expectations/Desires

Written on the 30th of September, in the year of Our Lord 2012. [Yeah, I’m weird even when journaling]

 Immediately following college, I want to get a job. Not just a Target kind of job, but a job that in some way caters to my particular talents and passions. I want to truly live out in the world; I want my own apartment, I want to be financially independent, and I want to begin building a life for myself that involves copious amounts of Ikea furniture, a small pet, books stacked on the floor, and lots of scrimping and saving.

 My job may or may not take me to a city outside of Minnesota. In fact, it likely will. I love Minnesota, and I’d like to make a home here eventually, but for now, I can’t afford to be too picky about location. What’s more, I enjoy traveling and exploring new places, and I think it would be exciting to end up in D.C. or Boston. Admittedly, it would be tough to be so far from home, but I would also treasure it as the type of opportunity that can only be accepted when one is young and (largely) fancy-free.

 After a year or so of work, I want to rethink graduate school. I’m reluctant, even now, to leave academia. I have a sense that while you keep learning whether you’re in school or not, the kind of analytical thinking I’ve done constantly while at Morris will not be so in-demand out in the world. I’m afraid of that, and I’m afraid that I’ll become one of those porch swing readers who picks up a Nora Roberts or a Danielle Steele every few weeks and calls it ‘reading.’ I love literature and writing more than anything else, and I know that I would enjoy teaching both. It’s this thought that keeps me turning slightly toward grad school, and this thought that makes me suspect that I may end up with a PhD yet.

This is a much needed reminder that I’ll always be glad later that I wrote things down, and also that somehow, I’m currently living the life I hoped I’d be living.  It’s comforting to know that 2012 Holly would approve, and that she and I, despite a distance of three years and several hundred miles, are still at heart the same person.

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